Guilt Ridden
It was a beaut
iful Sunday afternoon and I was out of the house, on my way to a church assignment. As I disembarked at Liverpool street station, I realised I was starving. My stomach was cramping so bad, from hunger of course, that I literally darted into the first sandwich shop on Liverpool Street and got myself a succulent bacon sandwich and a bottle of fresh orange juice. As it was an M&S food store, with no places to sit and eat, I scampered for the next available bench on the station concourse. Comfortably sat, I grabbed my sandwich and before sinking my teeth into the bread, said a short prayer followed by a ” Lord, remember those who do not have.”
My eyes were closed as I chewed…. and then I felt a presence. My eyes flew open and I found myself staring at a man, brown skinned, wide-eyed with dirty, scraggly hair. A homeless man.
Quickly I grabbed my bag closer and whispered,” Jesus,” out of habit.
Sensing my fear, he took a step back and raised his palm in self defence. “Anything you can give me?” he asked.
“No,” I said, shaking my head hard and skidding down the bench. ” I have nothing,”
“Anything…” he pressed, desperate.
“No!” I said, truly scared now. What if he attacked me?
He stared at me for a brief second and then turned away from me.
I watched him with a pounding heart as he sauntered off to the next couple. I watched as he spoke with them very briefly. I watched as the woman smiled and dipped her hand in her bag, and gave him something.
I watched as he bowed and thanked them and ran down the stairs….until he disappeared from my view.
And then it hit me. I had turned away a hungry man. I had asked God to remember those who didn’t have and when God answered the prayer immediately by bringing a hungry man my way, I had cowered away in fear.
I lowered my head and apologised to God. I was sure that the couple who had given him money were not Christians, while I, born-again, spirit-filled woman of God had turned away a beggar.
This happened about two weeks ago. I am still plagued by it. I had an opportunity to help and I didn’t. God forgive me…
A lesson learnt. I pray God brings another opportunity my way. I won’t even think twice.
Have you learnt any lessons this week?
Remain blessed
Bimxxx
My prayer for you: I pray for you that this month of June will not record bad news for you and your families in Jesus name. May the lives of those who died in the DANA air crash rest in peace.
Please pray for Nigeria. Pray for this generation. Pray for the safety of your loved ones as ceaselessly as you can. God bless you.
This article was written by Abimbola
4 comments:
I understand how you feel. We see such everyday in Lagos, but I must confess, my heart is kind of shut towards them. For many reasons. I only give when I get a “nudge”.
Don’t beat yourself over it. That’s why God put the other couple there to help him out as well. At the end of the day, we know he didn’t go hungry.
That’s the lesson I learned from this. God’s will will be done regardless of who He uses.
Thanks for sharing (I hope I didn’t confuse anyone).
Aww, thanks Ema Leecious! I feel much better now. I trust that God wanted me to learn a lesson from it… lesson learned. Thanks again
errrr ema leecious, nice way to dodge this. God’s will WILL be done no doubt, but are u sure it wont affect your relationship with Him if u keep expecting others to be used, when He specifically wanted to use you? just musing…….God bless you.
Intrestingly I had an experience like this once like a year ago. I had just grabbed a late dinner (I literally dashed to a Macdonald’s closeby to get a sandwich & a cup of Pepsi before they closed) and on coming out, there was a homeless person sitting just steps from the door. It took me close to 10 minutes to decide if I should let go. I just kept looking in his direction.
Thankfully I then did!