Characters of The Small Print: Interview with Mama Eniola)

Dear all,

Myne Whitman( my amazing blogger friend), made me write out a fictional interview for Wale Ademola on her blog( check it out-www.mynewhitmanwrites.com) and I enjoyed it so much that I have decided to Interview some of the other characters. I am starting with Mama Eniola because she is in the UK at the moment on a short visit ( and we dont want to lose the opportunity).  We’ll also be intervewing Wale, Sade, Jennifer and Eniola.  Please watch this space!

* * *

Mrs Rhodes thanks for granting this interview. It is a great pleasure to have you here with us in the UK.

Mrs Rhodes: Thank you ojare, Madam Questionnaire (grins widely). I cannot believe you people are interviewing me in this London. Ha. It is just like a miracle come through. I praise da Lord mightily.

Your daughter Eniola is studying Law in the UK, but you are concerned that she is still single. Why? There is nothing wrong with being single is there?

*glares at the interviewer and points* What is that on your finger?

A wedding band.

Oh, I see. You are married, not so?

Mrs Rhodes, what has that got to do with…?

Answer my question before I send you slap.

Yes, ma. I am married.

So you can marry abi? And it is my Eniola, our only female child, that we used all our pension money to send to London, that should remain single? Ha, this woman, you are wicked.

I apologise ma. You took my question out of context.

Keep your apology for your pocket. Next question.

We have reasons to believe that Eniola is now in a relationship with a gentle man named Myles Brown.

You mean Mice? (Adjusts her gele). Listen to me. Eniola has been bewitched by that Brown Mice of a somebody. (Leans forward and whispers) Please don’t record this inside your paper o, but you see, Eniola is in serious bondage of drinking too much Pepsi. And she knows that it is only Mice that will allow her drink Pepsi until she becomes like a gorodome. I will not allow it. Lai lai. I cannot.

A what?

A gorodome. A big drum.

Thanks for the clarification.

Pocket your thank you. I have not finished. Inside that her house, she has a fine boy living there, Wale Ademola. He has a good job, he has a degree and he is in love with Eniola. How can she overlook that fine boy, Wale Ademola, for that one that that talks as if he swallowed too much hot yam? Me and baba Eniola cannot even hear what he says. Please I don’t want to spend my old age saying: ehn, ehn every time he talks ojare.  If we had known, we would have just sent her to MAULAG jeje. At least she would have met a yoruba boy there.

I understand your concern ma, but I have met Myles and he loves Eniola. Surely that is what should matter. Besides they are both Christians and they love the Lord.

(Wrinkles her nose).  True true, I think you are not okay.

Mrs Rhodes why would you say that?

Why would I not say that? With all these questions that you are asking, I don’t think you are okay. Please where is the taxi to take me back to my hotel?

My sincere apologies ma, we didn’t arrange a taxi. Myles Browne has kindly offered to take you back to your hotel. We thought it’d be a great opportunity for you to get to know him better.

Olorun ma je (God forbid) *grabs her handbag, kicks the door open and walks out.*

*shouts after Mrs Rhodes* Please wait! We have a small gift for you….!

*shouts back* Keep your foolish gift for your pocket. Nonsense waste of time interview. Foolish questions. Rubbish.

******

Who do you wanna meet next?